Very Superstitious-Halloween Edition

This may surprise you, but I am very superstitious. I always have been. Now before you cast a stone my way and proclaim my superstitions as nonsense, give me a chance to explain.

For me, my superstitious nature began at an early age. You see, my mom was a self-proclaimed Wart Doctor. Yes, you read this correct; she claimed to have powers to remove warts. Yes, that same devout Christian lady. A Wart Doctor!

I recall people coming to visit from near and far, as word spread of her super power ability to make them or their animals’ wart free.

Mom’s ritual was exactly the same no matter how many times she cast her spell. She uttered a few words under her breath and then proclaimed, “It’ll come off.”

Skeptical patients from the beginning, I watched anxious wart bearers look at their blemishes with child-like eyes, believing those bad looking things would magically and immediately disappear.

“They’ll come off,” she reassured them, sensing disappointment in the lack of immediate relief.

“Go home and forget about them. If they don’t disappear, come back and we will try again.”

I must admit, it amazed even her favorite son at how many people swore she was the real thing.

“Her powers are real,” they exclaimed.

Each positive proclamation produced more and more wart mongers seeking her spell.

My back bowed like the black cat I soon learn to despise, at each visit from the warted ones.

She had a disclaimer which she always told them. If it was a seed wart, she could not remove it. I guess even Wart Doctors have limitations.

She always refused money as she said she would lose her powers if she accepted payment for her services.

She could never tell me her secret. If a blood relative learned the ritual, she would lose her “powers.”

So, you see, I grew up superstitious. Or perhaps the better word is suspicious, as I never fully bought in to the wart stuff.

As I became older and started getting involved in sports, I began to pick up a few of the traditional superstitions of that particular sport.

Don’t step on the chalk line while running on or off the baseball field or you will have bad luck, I learned through osmosis.

I learned from the big boys to always leave my glove at the same place in the dugout while batting. Again, a ritual I was not about to buck. I needed all the good luck I could get.

When I graduated to the sport of football, the veterans taught me to put on my football uniform in the same order before each game. I began to scratch my head when I had a bad game and experimented with a luckier method of getting luck. Food seemed to work better for me, so I choose to eat as much of my favorite food before a game. It worked pretty good until one particular game…wait a minute…I promise…you don’t want to know!

Moving to a different subject, my sister was the best pulley bone puller in the universe. I lost so many times to that lucky lady. Later I realized she just knew the trick of the pull. Once discovered, I found my wishes soon began to come true, since I possessed the biggest piece of that pulley more often!

So many silly superstitions have crept into my life over the years. If given the option, I still turn around and go a different direction when a black cat runs in front of my car.

To this day, I refuse to pick up a coin unless it is face up.

When I worked in the retail world, I dreaded Friday the thirteenth or any day there was a full moon. The crazies always emerged.

“Honey, it’s a full moon out thar. Let’s go into town and whoop it up. Ya Wanna?”

“Let’s go scare the bejeavers outta some young buck whippersnapper!”

Have you ever seen a thirteenth floor in a building? See, I’m not the only one with silly beliefs!

My dad taught me to never walk under a ladder. I later learned not to walk near a ladder period, because he would ask me to bring something extra heavy to him.

My school teachers taught me to never open an umbrella inside. This was and still is easy for me, because I lose every umbrella I own before I even make it inside.

Whenever my nose started itching, mom told me someone was coming to see me.

If my ears were ringing, then someone was talking about me.

I spent hours looking for four leaf clovers and always felt lucky when I found one. I know you guys did also. You know you did!

I once had so much fun with my boys when they were young. I told them they had to hold their breath anytime we passed a graveyard. If they didn’t, they would be the next one in it. I’d mess with them by stopping the car when the front of the car, where I was sitting, had passed the graveyard, but the back, where they were sitting was still parallel to it. I’d then make them laugh while they were trying to hold their breath. Oops, hope DHS doesn’t come take them away. Come to think of it….

I never broke a mirror, but I’ve always handled them with extreme care.

I once worked for a jolly and chubby Jewish man who taught me to split nothing when walking with others. For example, if we were coming upon a pole, we both had to walk on the same side of the object. Since he was my boss, many times he made me go back around the item we split. He was serious about it. I obeyed!

My wife has never moved a broom to another house, as it would surely bring bad luck. I’ve cracked many jokes to her about how good she rode the previous one. She did not laugh. Maybe that was bad luck.

Really, who amongst us are not superstitious in some manner. Have you never wished someone good luck? Or wished on a falling star? Or told someone to break a leg?

I guess I am getting better about my superstitions as I get older. I promise I’m telling you the truth. My fingers are not crossed or anything.

Something just fell out of my pocket. Oh. It’s just my worn-out rabbits’ foot! Picking it up, I stepped on a crack. Even though Mom is in heaven, I still can’t stand the thought of breaking her back!

This has been a GREAT Halloween week so far.

Knock on wood!

One thought on “Very Superstitious-Halloween Edition

  1. Jump over the crack or break your back. Hold your breath and pick up your feet going over a railroad track, Spit out the window if a black cat crosses your path. Yep! Loved your story as always!!

    Like

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